How do you feel about the popular methods to get babies to sleep, currently being used in the U.S.? Do you think that in 2012 a Crying method to get a baby to sleep is the most evolved thing we can do for our future generations? Maybe you don’t have a baby now or that time has passed for you, but it should still concern you because eventually our future generations will effect us in some way. The research that is done properly is showing it is time to reevaluate how we put our babies to sleep and that we can do better than some of the present methods used. I am not talking about with technology or new baby gadgets, but with mom and dad interacting and being the ones to comfort their baby. Parents need to understand how crucial this bonding time is and we should all realize that a baby’s emotional needs are equal to their physical needs. Raising a loving, gentle generation starts when they start and I think it is time to open the discussion about the problems with letting babies cry themselves to sleep. Should parents be taking chances on using Controlled Crying or Cry-It-Out techniques?
The easiest study to comprehend the negative effects of Crying methods for sleep in my opinion was done in New Zealand. It is called The Assay of Salivary Responses of Mothers and Infants engaged in Sleep Training Program. The testing was done in a non-invasive way by measuring saliva levels of the stress hormone cortisol from mom and baby over a few days while they were sleep training. Both Mothers and babies had high cortisol levels (high stress) at the beginning of the study because of mom hearing her baby cry and baby being left to cry themselves to sleep. As the days continued, babies were crying less as they were being “trained to sleep” and mothers cortisol levels went down due to hearing her baby crying less. The devastating part that needs to be examined and reexamined is that although the baby was not crying and showing outward signs of being upset, the babies stress level hormones were still really high as if they were crying. Why? This demonstrates in my opinion what babies are really being trained to do and that is why bother crying and showing how I really feel! They are retreating inside themselves thinking they are not able to trust or count on this person/s who are taking care of them. Parents have thought in the past that if a baby was upset they would cry, this evidence shows that is not the case after sleep training. That is pretty cut and dry to me, yes Sleep Training, Cry-it-Out and Controlled Crying make babies stop crying, give up and go to sleep but at what cost to our future generations? How is this going to and how is it currently affecting generations of sleep trained mistrustful or depressed kids, teens and adults?
I hope that the above evidence is enough to get parents, future parents, grandparents aunts, uncles, etc. to at least get a conversation started on if it is worth even taking the risk of a Crying method for your baby or a special baby in your life. To consider, if you would be ok with possible regrets for the sleep method you chose for your baby. Making sure to ponder the ‘what if’s’! What if your baby has trouble in future relationships trusting, communicating or speaking with others? Are you ok with that? Be honest with the fact that their earliest experiences were that of no one coming to them when they wanted or needed them most? Parents should also consider the why’s? Why is there billions of dollars being spent to treat depression? Why are there so many cold hearted bullies? Could that have been avoided had kids and adults as babies been shown that their needs mattered more?
When you have determined that a Cry-It Out sleep method is not giving the best you could give your family, that is when you need to take a look at a new, quick and fun way to get your baby to sleep. Gentle Goodnight is a step- by- step guide that will get your nursing baby to sleep in less than 25 minutes at home or on the go. I perfected Gentle Goodnight’s dancing sleep method over a decade with my three kids and I knew I could share it with other moms, since it had been used over 6000 times with a 99.99% success rate. Gentle Goodnights intention is to make a new moms life a little easier by giving her a sleep option to pull out of her developing bag of mom tricks. The Dancing sleep method works by matching your baby’s energy where they are at before nap or bedtime and slowly brings it down to relaxing and finally to sleep. Using music, the volume, rhythm, and how fast you are dancing, the Dancing method is an enjoyable process for mom and it is easy to settle the baby down quickly with no crying or stress involved, only benefits. I remember how vulnerable and unsure I felt when it was time to get my overtired eldest son to sleep each day until I came up with this method. I knew I had to share my method mainly because the only advice most new moms get is to let their baby cry themselves to sleep. I want the book to be a loving example of my spirit, that I care and want to help in giving moms confidence in their ability to relax their baby enough for sleep.
If you are still conflicted on if you think any damage is being done to your baby while crying themselves to sleep even without any research or studies, human compassion and empathy should tell you it is not the best we can do. I would tell any new moms that when raising my kids I always try to consider how I would want to be treated. It is the Golden Rule right? If you always treat your baby as you would want to be treated then you will have done your best and you will have no regrets. Remember that this baby is a stranger in a new world and right now can’t speak, move his body to get what he needs and is like a helpless, totally dependent person. Think about if you were a quadriplegic. Would you want to have your cries ignored even if you were just scared? I think picturing what life was like for your baby when she was in your stomach helps to put yourself in their situation also. They are always snuggled up close to mom and all their needs were met instantly. Now that they are born they have to try to act out what they are feeling to get what they need. Each cry has a meaning. Before they had continuous nutrition, perfect temperature, no unusual smells and the same soft environment. After birth they are in bright light, noise of all kinds, lots of weird smells , less contact and holding and different surfaces they are put on. Babies need to feel secure and comforted that you will be there for them even if they are just scared. Any experienced mom that is done with taking care of a new baby will admit how challenging that time was. It is also easy for someone not in the current situation to say this, but this will be the best investment you can make and it is so worth it to meet your baby’s emotional needs. This is why I feel all babies deserve a Gentle Goodnight!
Lyssa Armenta currently lives in Laguna Niguel, CA. She has been the happy wife of Chris and the proud mother to her son, Sterling, who was born in 1999. She has a daughter named Samantha, who joined in 2002 and son, Spencer, who completed the family in 2007. Lyssa loves to problem solve and her career as an author began as she felt the deep need to share her Dancing Method that she perfected after a decade to get her kids to sleep. Her passion is to keep improving the quality of life of her family and others and truly believes Gentle Goodnight can do that for babies and their moms! Lyssa is the Author of “Gentle Goodnight” You may contact her at Gentlegoodnight@gmail.com or to buy the book at Gentlegoodnight.com. LIKE us at Facebook.com/Gentlegoodnight.