Exciting news in the beverage industry! Natural News has just launched a new beverage called “Diet Fluoride Soda” containing 1,000 times the fluoride of your tap water, plus a huge dose of genetically modified aspartame to sweeten it up.
“Diet Fluoride Soda is formulated with hydrofluosilicic acid made in Chinese chemical factories,” explained Mike Adams, the formulator of the soda. “It meets all U.S. government regulations and American Dental Association requirements for the daily consumption of fluoride nutrition.”
Coming soon: Fluoride Infant Formula
In partnership with Nestle, a global leader in infant nutrition, Natural News is also slated to introduce Diet Fluoride GMO Infant Formula, especially formulated with the nutritional needs of children in mind. It contains Monsanto’s genetically modified corn in a base of fluoride pesticide powder that also doubles as a source of infant nutrition (when mixed with casein from hormone-injected dairy cows). “This formula has been approved by Stanford University and the American Association of Pediatrics as the No. 1 beverage for newborn babies,” said Adams. “It has also earned the enthusiastic support of the entire scientific community.”
The hydrofluosilicic acid manufactured in Chinese chemical factories — also called “fluoride” — is well known to increase intelligence, reduce cavities and even make children more socially acceptable in public school by preventing them from getting too far ahead of the class.
“We want to give every child a chance to be average,” explained Adams, the key formulator behind the product, which First Lady Michelle Obama has also slated to be introduced into the federal school lunch program in 2013.
A percentage of all sales from Diet Fluoride Soda has been pledged to fund the American Cancer Society and Komen for the Cure, in the hope that we may someday find a cure for all the cancers that keep mysteriously appearing for some reason that we just can’t figure out.