The video below is not a report by The Onion. It’s an actual instructional video recently put out by the Department of Homeland Security called “Options for Consideration Active Shooter Training Video”.
It’s accompanied by this description from DHS:
Options for Consideration demonstrates possible actions to take if confronted with a active shooter scenario. The instructive video reviews the choices of evacuating, hiding, or, as an option of last resort, challenging the shooter. The video also shows how to assist authorities once law enforcement enters the scene.
The video suggests that if you find yourself in an active shooter situation you should either run or hide. And “if you are caught out in the open and cannot conceal yourself or take cover, you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available”.
To depict “overpowering the shooter” the DHS hilariously shows a man grabbing a pair of scissors. After all you’d likely be in a gun-free zone where the only one armed is a lone nut.
To finish of this ridiculous training in how to be a cowardly victim, the DHS teaches us how to fully submit to the police when they arrive at the scene. Don’t worry if the police push you to the ground, the DHS says it’s only for your safety.